Burning Bridges is a bad Idea

I'm venturing into risky territory here: Burning Bridges. It's so risky in fact, I felt the need to capitalize the words. Trust me though, I have no desire to burn bridges as I write about burning bridges...umm duh...

It's on my mind because of two circumstances. The first is that I left a lamp of mine at my former place of business. It may not seem like a big deal , but I think about it all of the time. I really liked that lamp! I know just where I'll put it too, if I ever get it back.

I feel awkward about going to get it back because I was, you could say, ushered out under the cover of darkness -- they insisted I clean out my desk after-hours. I didn't get to say good-bye to anyone except the ones who made the decision to let me go. So, walking back into the office in the middle of the day when everyone is there to ask for it back feels...well, I feel great trepidation. I don't have any desire to burn bridges, but I don't know what everyone else is thinking. They way they let me go makes me feel like they thought I was going to cause a scene, so when I go back for my lamp I don't want them to think that I'm there for anything but...my lamp.

However, I think the lesson is obvious: I don't need to worry about what others think. (Didn't I learn that on a playground somewhere?) Really though, if I don't want to burn bridges I don't have to. If I'm consumed with what someone else is thinking or feeling and assuming that's is all negative, well, I'm sort burning the bridge from both sides. I supposed I shouldn't be blind to the feelings of others, but I can't live and die by them either. So, I'll go back within the week to get my lamp and I'll let you know how it goes, but I expect that it will be pleasantly uneventful.

The second is that I recently ran into a former coworker and they avoided me. Wait a minute?! Wasn't I the one laid off?!? Ugh. After that lovely paragraph about not assuming what other people are thinking or feeling, my paranoia is proved correct and it smacks me right in the face. Crap.

Regardless, my second lesson is also fairly obvious: I can always extend a hand to shake and if it's not returned, I'll extend my hand to someone else. There are deals out there to be made and I don't want to miss them just because I'm caught up trying to decipher every move someone makes. The difficult part is remaining open for the long-term when someone else is not. It hurts to be rejected, but those are feelings I have to deal with seperately. It's hard work to remain so open, but work that I'm committed to -- you just never know when someone will walk back into your life and you'll need them. Besides, I have great things to offer -- not everyone is going to recognize that, but I can't give up on myself.

This whole time in my life has been a great process for me -- such a great time of introspection and self-discovery. It's been a gift. In the midst of it all, I'm learning to genuinely keep doors open and to never, never, never burn a bridge.